Trump’s Kobayashi Maru

Trump Cure

It’s been ten days since President Donald Trump’s coronavirus address in the Rose Garden. After stumbling out of the gate, he seemed to be rising to the occasion, with talk of more robust travel restrictions, medical guidelines, and direct aid to the American people.

But yesterday, Trump posted a tweet that many interpret as as signaling a loss of resolve on the President’s part. Market-worshiping bowtieCons were ecstatic at the prospect of direct human sacrifice to Mammon. Their elation is understandable. Normally, only Moloch worshipers get that kind of action.

Trump’s reticence is also easy to understand. Much like James T. Kirk, Trump is a guy who never believed in the no-win scenario. His style has always been to dive into the maelstrom and grab the best deal that bubbles to the surface–all the while keeping his options open in case a better deal emerges. He knows that chaos can be good for business.

That’s why Corona-chan has him at a disadvantage. She offers no good outcomes. Trump’s choices right now are:

  1. Enforce the several-week lock down urged by medical experts, and tank the economy.
  2. Loosen containment guidelines, get a Spanish Flu style multi-wave plague, and tank the economy.
New York Corona Curve
Which way, Western man?
Squaring that circle is tricky, but not impossible if your moral compass is calibrated right. You take option 1, save as many lives as possible, and brace for the consequences.
Bonus: If you want to know who is a) innumerate and b) ruled by greed, take note of who’s embracing option 2.
It’s not just Corona-chan who’s backing Trump into a corner. The swamp critters in Congress have him outmatched, too. The fact that they’re willing to expose themselves as business agents for megacorps in the process is enlightening. 
Trump is always looking to make a deal. That approach avails nothing in the face of opposition that’s willing to crush the common man while throwing a trillion dollars a day into the raging inferno of the markets.
Then there’s Nancy Pelosi. The old witch’s spite-fueled ravaging of America is a great argument against women in government. She’s done her damnedest to block every Trump agenda item since day one. Now she’s doing what she does best–bogging the system down in empty politicking. Pelosi doesn’t care about minority banks, unions, or turbines. She does care about denying Trump a win, and she’ll gladly burn the country down just to burn him.
But the final black pill being a white pill, Corona-chan has done the American people a great service. We now know beyond a shadow of a doubt that our system is utterly ossified with corruption, wholly incapable of making decisions in a crisis, and not representative of ordinary people at all.
The US government is a machine designed to squeeze as much cash from the middle class as possible while applying pressure gradually enough that they don’t feel the pinch. Corona-chan has spun the crank on the vise, and now normal people are noticing the pain.
Voting will have no effect on the outcome of this crisis, so you may as well sit back and enjoy it. Luckily, a number of top-shelf pulp authors–including yours truly–are here to bring you a figurative escape from Clown World.
Corona-chan Number One!
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